Why I'm here

So I decided to start writing this because all the divorce help advice I read says you should talk to other people. No offense to the experts but I really don’t feel like calling up anybody and complaining about being divorced so this is the next best step.

Cliff notes background, many details excluded for brevity’s sake:

I married the love of my life when I was 21 years old. After five years of marriage she told me she did not love me anymore. We tried to work it out (well, I feel like I tried but I think she was past the point of no return already when she told me she didn’t love me) Needless to say nearly a year ago I moved out and we were officially divorced in December 2010.

While I have been “single” for almost a year I don’t feel things have gotten any easier for me. There are days where I miss my old wife terribly and there are days where I want to tell her where to get off.  I only started writing this because for whatever reason I was just really sad today when I got home from  work. I figured I may as well channel it somehow so this is the end result

Throughout this whole process my co-workers have been very supportive and positive for that I cannot thank them enough. I have not talked to my family or my friends about it much and a few reasons for that.  First and most importantly, my former wife and I share many friends. If I talk to a mutual friend on a day when I am particularly angry I am afraid I’ll say something I regret. Second, my friends have their own lives to worry about to and frankly, some of them didn’t even know we were divorced until recently because it’s not like I sent out smoke signals letting everyone know. It’s not something I enjoy talking about face to face (hence writing).

 I don’t really talk to my family about this either and why that is I don’t know. I guess I feel at some point I need to stop complaining about it get on with things. This is a lot easier said then done however. Also, I don’t’ want people to feel bad for me or have any ill feelings towards my former wife, there is no need for that. Some days I’m angry enough for everybody.

That’s really about it for now. I don’t know how often I will write in this just depends how I feel I guess. I hope the above made sense.

In the meantime, I thank the good Lord above for what I do have. My family, my friends, and a job I look forward to going to everyday. Things have not been easy but they will get better, it just takes time.

Thanks for reading,

-Jay